


One Unenchanted Evening

by anonymous_moose



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, I don't know if this is any good, a pointless little character piece, but i've sat on it for weeks so it's gonna get posted, magnus has a lot of friends, some are just nicer than others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:51:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_moose/pseuds/anonymous_moose
Summary: Rooming with Reclaimers ain't easy, especially when they don't follow proper protocol. Taako is rudely interrupted. Magnus is all about justice. Kravitz would like some more wine, please.





	

The Icosagon was probably Magnus' favorite place in the Bureau. It was a fully equipped training dojo, and he found himself spending a great deal of time there running through drills, either alone or with one of the Regulators. When he had too much on his mind (or, lately, when he had too little) he could focus on the physical and ignore everything else.

Carey had been helping him a lot lately. She'd run him through all the thieves' drills she knew, sparred when he needed it, and helped him practice the cant when Magnus was too tired to do anything else. He was starting to get the feeling she was worried about how much time he was spending down here, especially since he'd never really been one for training before, but she hadn't said anything. Magnus was grateful for that.

It was the end of a long afternoon. Carey threw him a towel, and Magnus brushed himself off. The bandana around his neck was soaked with sweat.

"When's laundry day, again?" he asked.

"Every other Thursday," Carey answered, unbuckling and stowing her holstered practice daggers.

"Right, cool."

Carey paused in the middle of putting on her jacket. "It's Thursday, Magnus."

It took him a couple of breaths to put that together. He looked down mournfully at his filthy red bandana. "Aw, dip."

"Shame," she said with a little laugh. "It really tied the look together."

Magnus turned and glanced up towards the glass skybridge of the Icosagon. Killian and Avi were up there, talking. He hadn't seen them earlier. How long had they been standing there?

"I'm not keeping you from something, am I?" he asked.

Carey finished pulling on her boots and looked up. "Oh! No, we were just gonna go kick it in the common room. Johan's performing something new tonight, and Avi's doing the catering."

"You mean bringing the liquor."

She smiled. "You know it. You want to come with?"

Magnus thought about it. He really did. Carey was his friend, and she was trying to be nice. And it probably would help keep his mind off things he'd rather not—or literally couldn't—think about.

"Thanks, Carey. I'm okay."

She looked a little disappointed. At least, he assumed as much; dragonborn were hard for him to read sometimes. "Alright. Well, if you change your mind."

He nodded. Carey punched him in the shoulder as she passed, heading for the elevator door. Magnus watched her go, then started to gather up his armor.

Maybe he'd read a book or something.

* * *

 

The doors of the elevator opened with a ding, and Magnus stepped out into the short hallway leading to the Reclaimers' suite. He carried his armor in a bag slung over his shoulder, and in the time it took to walk from the Icosagon, it felt like it had gotten fifty pounds heavier. He was glad he'd used the public showers instead of their private bathroom; he doubted he had the energy left at this point to do much but throw some Fantasy Cheetos in his face and pass out.

Magnus raised his hand to the doorknob, and heard Taako laughing from inside. That was a little strange; before Magnus and Merle left that morning, Taako said he was spending the day down on the surface. He'd brushed his hair and put on eyeliner and everything. Did he really get back before Magnus did?

He opened the door and stepped into the suite. Taako's head was poking up above the round couches surrounding the glass porthole in the floor—Magnus would recognize that hair and those ears anywhere.

What he did not recognize, however, was the much darker head of hair right next to it.

Taako leaned in and muttered something. They replied, and Taako laughed again and threw his arm over the other's shoulder.

Magnus stood stock still. They hadn't heard him come in, so he took the opportunity to collect his thoughts. The initial volley went something like: _God, really? Really? Here? In here? Really?_ The thoughts immediately afterward were conflicted: _I should leave, they should have some privacy, but it's the common room, and he didn't even leave a goddamn tie on the doorknob, and since when does Taako entertain guests anyway?_ Then he considered what Taako would do in his place, and there was really only one answer.

Slowly, Magnus stalked forward. Everything Carey had been teaching him had prepared him for this moment. He drew closer, step by careful step, until he loomed over them enough to see their faces.

Taako was dressed in what Magnus imagined was his Sunday best; deep purples on the vest, brighter whites and yellows on the shirt and leggings, as well as some gemstone earrings Magnus had never actually seen him wear before. The other, a tall dark-skinned man, wore a black-on-black suit better suited to a funeral than a date.

And that was when Magnus recognized him.

"Kravitz?!"

Taako leapt clean out of his seat, jumping forward and nearly stumbling over the glass coffee table. Kravitz's skin faded away suddenly, revealing bare white skull, then quickly returned as he looked back at Magnus.

"How did you do that?" Taako demanded, pointing accusingly. "Why are you back so soon? Answer the second one first!"

"It's like six thirty!" Magnus said. "And Carey taught me! Why are you snuggling with Death?"

Taako put his hands on his hips. "I don't have to justify myself to you."

"He cut Merle's arm off!"

"That was you!"

"He made me do it!"

"Oh, did he make you remove all those other arms too?"

"Stop changing the subject!"

"Gentlemen, please," Kravitz said, standing between them. "If I'm unwelcome, I can leave."

"Don't you dare, my dude," Taako said sternly. "You are absolutely welcome."

"He tried to kill us!" Magnus spread his arms out. "That wasn't cool!"

"So did Killian that one time," Taako shot back, crossing his arms. "We don't hold that against her."

That brought Magnus up short. He paused, looked away, and took a moment to think about it.

"Yeah, alright," he said, lowering his arms. "Asked and answered, I guess."

"Damn right, homie."

"That was entirely professional, I'll add," said Kravitz calmly, straightening his tie. "Nothing personal."

"Wait." Magnus looked back and forth between Kravitz and Taako. "Does he know about the... the oops-lay? In Efuge-ray?"

Taako rolled his eyes. "Great code, Mags, he'll never crack that one."

Kravitz cleared his throat. "I've already spoken to my Queen about the business in Refuge. There's no need to worry."

With a smirk towards Magnus, Taako rested an elbow on Kravitz's shoulder. "See? We're cool, baby. It's all good."

Magnus ran a hand over his scalp. "Well... alright then."

"You're welcome, by the way. Line to thank me forms to the left." Taako pinched Kravitz's cheek, then flopped back on the couch, pulling Kravitz down with him. "If you're going to be a third wheel, at least make yourself useful and grab some more booze from the fridge."

"I mean, I could just—"

"Hang out alone in your bedroom? Yeah, that's not uncomfortable at all. Totally lets us recapture the mood." Taako clapped his hands. "Booze, garcon! Chop chop!"

Magnus grumbled and headed for the little common room kitchen.

* * *

 

Turns out Kravitz wasn't such a bad guy when you got to know him. At least that's what Magnus thought with a few mugs of mead in him. He was a little stiff, sure, a little uptight, and he wasn't sure how Taako of all people could stand that, but... well, even Magnus had to admit Kravitz cut a real fine profile (when he had skin) so that probably made up for a lot.

"So," Magnus began, cradling his mug in his hands as he leaned back in his easy chair. "How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"Couple weeks, on and off," Taako volunteered. He was nearly horizontal, feet up on the table and sunk low into the couch. His arm was around Kravitz's shoulders, who was sitting slightly higher up in his seat, but had put his feet up at Taako's prompting and seemed about as relaxed as Magnus could imagine him. "My dude doesn't get much time off."

"It's been very busy," Kravitz said, apparently without irony. He took a swig of the wine Taako had poured for him. "I tend to be on-call quite a bit these days."

"This was the first date we've had that lasted more than ninety minutes. Didn't really want it to end." Taako crossed one leg over the other and smiled a very satisfied smile. "Guess I lost track of time."

Magnus pouted a little. "If you'd told me, I would have given you space. Why the secret?"

"No secret," Taako said with a shrug. "Just didn't think it was anyone's business."

"Well, I mean..." Magnus sighed. "Yeah. Fair."

There was a brief, awkward silence. Taako cleared his throat.

"And there's also the arm thing."

Magnus hissed in a breath. "Yeaaaaah. There is that arm thing."

"I do feel a little bad about the arm thing," Kravitz said, nodding slowly.

"He'll get over it," said Magnus. "Until then, he won't hear anything from me."

Taako stared at Magnus with an odd look on his face that almost read as sincere emotion. "Thanks, Magnus."

"No problem." He raised his mug, and Taako raised his glass. "You're real lucky he wasn't around."

Taako scoffed. "Lucky, nothing. I timed this perfectly. He's been going down to the surface a couple days a week for like a month. You haven't noticed?"

Magnus blinked. He'd been more than a little preoccupied lately. Had Merle really been leaving that often?

"Besides, we've already been to the Chug 'n Squeeze," Taako whined. "Where else is there to take a fella on a date around here?"

"I wouldn't have objected to going back," Kravitz offered, swirling his glass. "Wine wasn't bad."

Taako shook his head. "Nope. No repeats, no routines. Taako ain't about that dull-ass life."

"Yes, this is positively thrilling, dear."

He slapped Kravitz on the shoulder. The reaper chuckled, and Taako obviously couldn't help the smile that lit up his face. Magnus looked down at his mug of mead—almost empty for the third time—and was planning to well and truly excuse himself to bed when there was a high-pitched chime.

Kravitz reached into his vest and pulled out a small amulet from around his neck. It glowed a gentle white as it rang out every couple seconds. He sighed and rubbed his thumb across the seal of a raven pressed into the metal, and the chiming stopped.

"Any chance it's a wrong number?" Taako mumbled.

"I'm afraid not."

"Butts."

"Sorry I went and spoiled your evening," Magnus said sadly.

"No, no, not at all," Kravitz said. "I was glad to clear the air a little. And..."

Kravitz looked at Taako, who smiled with half-lidded eyes. Magnus saw him draw a little circle on Kravitz's shoulder with a painted nail. The reaper sighed.

"I've been told I have to make an effort to be less... imperious. A little more personable. So, before we go, I'd like to compliment you both. Magnus..." He paused, looking thoughtful. "The muscles in your hands are quite large."

"Thank you!" Magnus replied cheerily.

"And Taako, your ceviche is the best I've ever had."

Taako's eyes widened. Magnus blinked. What was that, elvish? No, he knew elvish. Was it slang? Oh god, was it slang for something he'd really rather not contemplate?

"I've never made ceviche for you," Taako said quietly, looking away and smiling nervously. "I don't know why you would say things like that."

"You made ceviche for me before, it was very good."

"I have not, I have not made ceviche for you—"

"You made me ceviche shrimp once."

Taako closed his eyes and held his breath. "I did not make you ceviche shrimp once but thank you."

"It was absolutely ceviche." Kravitz furrowed his brow and leaned away slightly. "Or was that just raw shrimp we ate out of your refrigerator?"

All was silent. Taako refused to look at either of them and found a particularly interesting spot on the white ceiling of the Reclaimers' suite.

"You cooked for him?" Magnus asked, shocked. "Where? If there was food in the fridge I would have seen—"

Realization dawned. Taako began to whistle innocently.

"Oh my god," Magnus said, "did you cast Invisibility on the goddamn shrimp?"

"I'm sorry," Kravitz said, glancing between them, "was this some sort of secret?"

"Apparently!"

"Listen," said Taako, finally breaking his silence. "You two wouldn't have appreciated ceviche. It requires a more refined palette—"

"Refined my butt!" Magnus said, waving his mug at him. "You cooked food and then didn't share any with your bestest buds slash roomies! That is a crime! That is criminal!"

"Cook? I don't cook. Who cooks?" Taako gestured at nothing in particular. "Ceviche is basically naturally occurring. It's like butane, or dogs!"

Kravitz sat up, set down his glass, and stood. "I think I'll leave you two to sort this out."

Taako and Magnus set aside their argument for a moment and stood. When Kravitz pulled his ethereal scythe from nowhere and cut a hole into reality, Magnus realized that at some point he'd become numb to a lot of really crazy stuff. Hazards of the hero business, he supposed.

Before he stepped through, Kravitz turned back towards Taako. "I had a lovely time."

Magnus couldn't see his face, but for a moment, he could swear Taako was blushing. "Same here, bubeleh."

Kravitz tilted his head, as though he were considering something. Then he leaned in and kissed Taako gently on the cheek. Magnus had to look away to stifle the literal 'aww' that almost emerged from his mouth. When he looked back, Kravitz was walking through the portal. It closed with a snap-hiss behind him. Magnus and Taako stood alone in the common room as the nighttime countryside of eastern Faerun rolled gently beneath them through the porthole.

"So about that ceviche."

Taako looked down at his bare wrist. "Wow, would you look at the time, I need to get to bed."

"Oh no you don't," Magnus said, heading him off as he made a beeline for his bedroom door. "Magnus is all about justice. This crime will not go unanswered."

"What're you gonna do?" Taako sneered, crossing his arms. "Hug me to death?"

Magnus stared at him. Taako's eyes widened.

"No no nononono—"

As elves go, Taako was slight, and weighty as a reed. Wrapped in a bearhug, there was little he could do except struggle vainly.

"I swear to god," Taako ground out through his teeth, "if you do not drop me I will burn a spell on you."

Magnus set him down and grinned at him. Taako rubbed his arms and grumbled something less than kind.

"C'mon," Magnus said, nudging him with his elbow. "Just one dish. I won't tell Merle."

Taako spun on his heel and headed straight for his bedroom door. He got halfway there before he stopped. He looked up, muttered something about how he much he put up with, and then raised one finger high into the air.

"One," he said. "One thing. My choice."

"Sounds fair."

"And you tell no one."

"Of course. And hey, Taako?"

Taako's whole head rolled along with his eyes as he turned back around. "What?"

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, realized he didn't know exactly what he wanted to say, closed it, opened it again... and then gave up on eloquence. "Sorry, I've been really distracted lately, and now I'm really tired and kinda drunk, and... Kravitz seems nice. And I'm glad you're happy. That's all."

The look on Taako's face softened almost immediately. There was something in his half-lidded eyes that Magnus was in no real condition to recognize, but he was almost certain it was sympathy.

"Go to bed, Mags," he said.

Magnus smiled weakly. "Okay."

* * *

 

After Magnus had gathered the glasses and washed them in the sink, he headed straight for his bedroom and was out before his head hit the pillow. His sleep was deep and dreamless, and he woke far later than usual. When he finally rolled out of bed, pleasantly sore and less than pleasantly hungover, he found an unmarked pink box just inside his bedroom door.

He didn't have to open it to smell the macaroons inside.


End file.
